LazyEye

Now what will come with this educashun?

History Geography
Badi bewafaa
Subah ko padhi
To shaam ko khafaa.

Shun it. It’s nothing. Nothing. Or it is a bad thing. Or a worse thing. Or even worse than that thing. They are probably terrible things. All of them. Listen carefully. And try to understand. OurSS has pronounced upon us the truth. The Waalruss. That Waalruss. Moochhwaalaa HalfPant. Head of the OurSS. Our very own OurSS. Did you hear? You didn’t? But you must. You have to. Unless. You know, you have those tendencies… You got it. The susaaat tendencies; the tendencies of what Ingraaaaj folks do when they want to take their lives. You know what we mean. Susaaaat. It’s well known. It was in that movie too, that’s how well known it is. That movie, can’t remember the name, but an iconic one with some famously copied songs and tunes and stuff, whatever it was called… Amber or Embers or whatever it was. Haan. That one. You got it. The same one with two BhaaJaaPaa folks who also became hubby and joru, and one BhaaJaaPaa person who was surrogate BhaaJaaPaa and whose joru was actually Sapaa. That’s the one, right. Name? Hain? Let’s see. O tera naam kya hai, Basanti? Who’s to tell us what Basanti’s name is. Yooooonnkayyyyy! We are not in the habit of talking too much but if you insist, my name is Basanti. Phewwwwww!

So the same. Same to same.

Anyway, I digress. What we do best here is to digress. It is one of the ways we survive, you know. When we digress, we choose a diversion from the main discourse, and that is an aid to survival because the main discourse is a killer discourse. Keep diverting, doesn’t matter where you get, spent matter where you end up, if you keep diverting you will probably end up in the right place rather than the intended place.

Intended places are not places to go to.

Picture this. Picture what the Waalruss of the OurSS has said. Go to school, but do not get educated. Set a course, but keep getting diverted. Because if you go to school and you get educated, meaning if you go to school and stay the course and do not get diverted, you are doomed. Or divorced. Which is a synonym for doomed. Thesaurus, please note. If you get educated, you get divorced. The chances are high. So, if you want to be sanskaaari, no education. Beta, shun educashun. What’s there in educashun? Hain? Educashun? It is an evil thirst. Educashun! Then you will want job. No job. Then there will be frustrashun. Frustrashun, then there will be agitashun. Agitashun, there will be allegashun. Allegashun, then there will be ligitashun. Ligitashun, then there will be diebhorce. Diebhorce? Divorce. Okay. That is how they spell it, those who have educashun. Same thing. But the whole thing is that ki, bhaiya (or bahini), don’t get into this abominashun. Avoid educashun. Earn piece of life. Earn a good piece, with bone, with flesh, leg piece. Okay? Happy? Buy one, get one free, gaaaranteee!

Educashun is light. Light is juiceless. I mean useless, that is how they spell it, those with educashun. Why light? Why not darkness? There is such comfort in darkness, hai naa? When we were in our wombs, remember? Comphy-comphy warm darkness? Then we were born and then came light and all the falsificashun of life with it. Hai naa? Darkness is best. Nothing is visible. You can’t tell shit from cream. What is the need? You tell shit from cream and what does it do? What does that achieve? Dirty fingers, tell me, am I right? You wash shit on your fingers, you wash cream. Or no, maybe you lick the latter. But in the democratic darkness you wouldn’t know what to wash, what to lick. And you’d eventually wash your fingers anyhow. So same thing. Why educashun? Anyway, that name was Sholay, and no educashun told me that.

History Geography
Badi bewafaa
Subah ko padhi
To shaam ko khafaa.

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