Telegraph Calcutta

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

You know me. How could you not? If you do not know me you don’t deserve to be. How could that be? How could you be and not know me? Not possible. Either you know me or you are not. That is it. That is the sentence. As is the fashion nowadayzzz on Teetar, when they say important things. Or what they believe to be important things. Significant things. That’s it, that is the Teet. That is how they say seminal things on Teetar nowadayzzz. And so I am saying it too. After a fashion. After a way that most folks may understand. Nowadayzzz. Either you know me or you are not.

Main Aurwind Cageriwall bol raha hoon. (Cough. Cough.)

Bolo bhaiAb kya?

(Cough. Cough.) (Grin. Grin.) Grin to embarrass common man kind of grin. Fraud grin. I drive the lowest common denominator car, but when I need to, I take the VIP route and VVIP pass to the nearest and cleanest toilet to relieve myself. And security reasons have put me in this bungalow and looped me in rings of security. They call me Cageriwall. What am I to do? This is all for you only. If you hadn’t put me here, I wouldn’t be here.

I had sworn never to be here. I had sworn I would not be here because I wanted to dedicate my whole life, my every breath. Oh my breath, my breath, I must do something really VVIP about my breath. Because my breath is, each one, kasam sey, each one is for you. So I must breathe well, it is for your sake only. My every living moment is dedicated to opposing people here. People who used to be just where I am now. People who used to be just where I want to always be. I remember I swore I never wanted to be here. But that is the thing about swearing. It is a bad habit. My mother used to tell me, Beta, never swear. So if I swore, I am sorry. I will never swear again. Pakka promise. I swear, I will never swear again.

Just look at my name. Ponder. Marvel at how I was named. It’s all there. Aurwind. Then Cageriwall. How much wind. How much wall. How much cage. Can’t escape me.

Or recall my first gift to you. The topi. Not cloth. Not paper. Pure fabrication. Topi made of waste. Recycled maal. Use and throw. But in the end, I made it the shape of a topi. And all of you made it a fashion. Topi pehna diya naa! And you were all so proud to wear it. You wore it and swore to battle against power. You did the battling, I got the power.

But what am I to do? You are the ones who gave it to me. And once you had given me power you wanted me to do things with it. But so did power, it wanted me to do things with it. Like become used to it. How am I to do things with power without becoming used to it? And becoming used to power requires keeping it. At any cost. If you do not keep power however will you get used to it? I have got used to it, I am happy to report; I am keeping it. At any cost, no kampromise.

Understood? No kampromise. I am trying to explain something to you. No kampromise means no kampromiseKam, meaning little. Promise, meaning pledge. Kampromise: little pledge. I am a kampromising person, I pledge little. Little man. Little state. Little power. Little pledge. That’s me. I will praise to the heavens what I poohpooed to the gutters. I will lick what I lambasted and pliantly obey what I defied. For you. I will kampromise. I will get into kampromising positions. What matters to me is what matters to you. And to do for you what I said I would, I need to be in power. This filthy thing I never wanted. But I must keep it. For your sake. Samjha karo. Aurwind naam hai mera, Aurwind Cageriwall. And I have more topis to give away. You want? Tum mujhe power do, main tumhe topi doonga.

I know the price of throne

And so I do what I do

You may regret, you may groan

But go to hell, it’s true.

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